1. Me and my husband, we went to bank on Saturday, to start an account for him. It went well, and now we just wonder whether the account will last some a posteriori sweeps by the bank's anti-money-laundering team. We'll see - it would be nice to have some extra money!
One funny thing happened in the bank. The employee who was working through the application with us was a nice, polite young lady, who asked us few polite questions (where in the Czech Republic are you from, why did you move to the UK, do you like Manchester, what do you do for living). My husband answered the last question honestly, and told the young lady that he works for a bank, is a credit risk guy, and things like that. Then, she turned to me, and asked something like 'and what do you do, do you work in a restaurant'? Well, no, I don't! :)
2. There has been one more funny thing: the date for EU referendum has been set. We live here, but we are not UK citizens (or people from Cyprus or Malta), so we don't get a vote in this. The news now don't inform bout anything else than this, and there are pictures of PM saying stuff, ministers saying stuff, MPs saying stuff, and pretty much everyone saying stuff.
The most important question of course was 'which side is Boris going to be campaigning for'. Well, this side:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-eu-referendum-35626621
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-eu-referendum-35627361
Why does it matter? Because it does! This is Boris, the most popular politician (if you like him) - or the most ridiculous politician (if you don't like him). I guess that half the nation will vote for exit because Boris votes for exit, and the other half will vote for staying in the EU because Boris votes for exit. You see? Don't question Boris' importance!
3. And one personal funny thing, which is completely unrelated. English / British people sometimes tell me how good my English is. They recognize immediately that I am not British, but they usually cannot really guess where am I from. And my colleagues as well as random people sometimes say, 'your English is very good'!
But two of my bosses (independently of each other!) have said something which made me really proud. When I mentioned that I am not a native speaker, one of my bosses said: 'Yes, it is easy to forget that.' And, on a different day and in an unrelated discussion, another of my bosses said: 'Yes, that's actually a fair point. When I talk to you, I do not see a non-native speaker, I usually think that I speak to an English person.'
Ha haaa! :-)
Monday, 22 February 2016
Friday was our company's karaoke night.
I don't know whether you've ever been to karaoke. For me, Friday was the first time ever. I expected something ridiculous, awkward and embarrassing (...so my expectations were pretty low!). I got something which was actually quite funny and nice.
Very close to our office, there is Manchester's Chinatown. (I am not sure I've mentioned this before.) Chinatown means a lot of Chinese / Japanese / generally Asian restaurants, Asia market style shops selling tea, noodles, spiky fruits, fish heads, coconut juice (three different brands!) and also some stinking weird stuff (no offence). Chinatown also means quite a few karaoke bars. We went to the biggest one - maybe five floors of small rooms with upholstered walls and a TV and a couch and of course the karaoke machine!
So, there is a big screen on which music videos are played. There is a small screen on which you select which songs to play. There are two mics, with a funny plastic collar so that when you put them down on the table, they don't touch the upper desk. There are door which are almost soundproof and on which there is a warning than anyone caught vomiting will have to pay £20 cleaning fee. (Seriously!)
Once you select the songs, they go into your playlist and they are played, one by one. Lyrics appear on the screen, and when it is time to sing, they start changing colour; the stuff which is to follow is still white, and the stuff which has been sung is bluish or greenish. The only thing you have to do is pick up the mic and start singing! (And drink a lot of Chinese beer or wine in the meantime.)
As mentioned above, I quite enjoyed the evening. I don't know many pop songs, which is a shame (because karaoke is usually about the most hardcore pop there is), but I knew few of them, and so I could sing at least something. I mean, yes, I did it! I sang! After initial fear of being embarrassed to death, I've discovered that it wasn't so bad, that everyone embarrassed himself/herself equally, and that 'this is why the room has the door'. People were actually encouraging me, and the atmosphere was that of acceptance (something like 'no one can sing like a pro, some are better than others, but that is not the point, we are here to have fun' - an attitude which I quite enjoyed).
And just for the sake of completeness - I was asked by colleagues to sing a Czech folk song. So I did!
I don't know whether you've ever been to karaoke. For me, Friday was the first time ever. I expected something ridiculous, awkward and embarrassing (...so my expectations were pretty low!). I got something which was actually quite funny and nice.
Very close to our office, there is Manchester's Chinatown. (I am not sure I've mentioned this before.) Chinatown means a lot of Chinese / Japanese / generally Asian restaurants, Asia market style shops selling tea, noodles, spiky fruits, fish heads, coconut juice (three different brands!) and also some stinking weird stuff (no offence). Chinatown also means quite a few karaoke bars. We went to the biggest one - maybe five floors of small rooms with upholstered walls and a TV and a couch and of course the karaoke machine!
So, there is a big screen on which music videos are played. There is a small screen on which you select which songs to play. There are two mics, with a funny plastic collar so that when you put them down on the table, they don't touch the upper desk. There are door which are almost soundproof and on which there is a warning than anyone caught vomiting will have to pay £20 cleaning fee. (Seriously!)
Once you select the songs, they go into your playlist and they are played, one by one. Lyrics appear on the screen, and when it is time to sing, they start changing colour; the stuff which is to follow is still white, and the stuff which has been sung is bluish or greenish. The only thing you have to do is pick up the mic and start singing! (And drink a lot of Chinese beer or wine in the meantime.)
As mentioned above, I quite enjoyed the evening. I don't know many pop songs, which is a shame (because karaoke is usually about the most hardcore pop there is), but I knew few of them, and so I could sing at least something. I mean, yes, I did it! I sang! After initial fear of being embarrassed to death, I've discovered that it wasn't so bad, that everyone embarrassed himself/herself equally, and that 'this is why the room has the door'. People were actually encouraging me, and the atmosphere was that of acceptance (something like 'no one can sing like a pro, some are better than others, but that is not the point, we are here to have fun' - an attitude which I quite enjoyed).
And just for the sake of completeness - I was asked by colleagues to sing a Czech folk song. So I did!
Wednesday, 17 February 2016
There is one funny thing about beer which is worth mentioning.
In the Czech Republic, you can buy bottled beer. You can buy lots of brands (usually, like, 10 000 Czech brands, but also some Belgian and Dutch, and very few German), in two different sizes (0.5 l and if you are lucky than also 0.33 l).
Here, the beer reality is different. First thing is, they sell many brands. Not only thousands of English / British brands (mostly ales and IPAs, with cheerful labels), but also many international brands (Indian (Cobra and others), Chinese (famous Tsing Tao), Japanese (e.g. Asahi and Kirin Ichiban, do not mix with Kirin Amgen!), Thai (Tiger!), Greek (Mythos, of course, and also this one which is not really Greek but I don't know the right adjective form of 'Cyprus'), Dutch (my favourite Grolsch, which is very popular with all home brewers because of the reclosable bottle), German (wheat beer as well as lager, too many brands to list them), French (mostly this beer with year but also other more obscure brands), Italian (Peroni), Spanish (mostly San Miguel), US (Coors Light and Budweiser, which I don't like!), Polish (many brands, e.g. Tyskie), Czech (many many brands, for example the real Budweiser or the absolute classic Pilsner), and so on, and so on).
However, what I find even more interesting are the bottle sizes. Apart from the 'classic' 0.5 l and 0.33 l you also have pint (understandable here in the UK), 0.66 l (...two small beers in one bottle, and I bet many Czech people would consider this ideal size!), 275 ml, 450 ml, 375 ml, 250 ml, and then many random numbers which I don't remember because they are so random!
In the Czech Republic, you can buy bottled beer. You can buy lots of brands (usually, like, 10 000 Czech brands, but also some Belgian and Dutch, and very few German), in two different sizes (0.5 l and if you are lucky than also 0.33 l).
Here, the beer reality is different. First thing is, they sell many brands. Not only thousands of English / British brands (mostly ales and IPAs, with cheerful labels), but also many international brands (Indian (Cobra and others), Chinese (famous Tsing Tao), Japanese (e.g. Asahi and Kirin Ichiban, do not mix with Kirin Amgen!), Thai (Tiger!), Greek (Mythos, of course, and also this one which is not really Greek but I don't know the right adjective form of 'Cyprus'), Dutch (my favourite Grolsch, which is very popular with all home brewers because of the reclosable bottle), German (wheat beer as well as lager, too many brands to list them), French (mostly this beer with year but also other more obscure brands), Italian (Peroni), Spanish (mostly San Miguel), US (Coors Light and Budweiser, which I don't like!), Polish (many brands, e.g. Tyskie), Czech (many many brands, for example the real Budweiser or the absolute classic Pilsner), and so on, and so on).
However, what I find even more interesting are the bottle sizes. Apart from the 'classic' 0.5 l and 0.33 l you also have pint (understandable here in the UK), 0.66 l (...two small beers in one bottle, and I bet many Czech people would consider this ideal size!), 275 ml, 450 ml, 375 ml, 250 ml, and then many random numbers which I don't remember because they are so random!
Monday, 15 February 2016
This is to describe my husband's adventures with bank account.
As mentioned previously on this blog, my husband has arrived to the UK at the end of October / beginning of November. Since then, he's got a job (congrats), he's eaten quite few burgers, he's seen some Northern cities, he's been sent to Edinburgh for training more than once, he figured out where and how to buy 'tvaroh', and so on. In every aspect, he is now reasonably well adapted guy.
Except that he has no bank account, and therefore he cannot receive his salary.
There are probably two whys in this one sentence. Why he has no bank account? And why he cannot get paid?
Both the questions have a simple answer: anti-money laundering rules.
The second question is easier to answer. You cannot get your money cash, because you are presumed guilty of money laundering (or financing terrorism, which is even worse), and if you get cash, you are assumed to immediately do bad things with the money. And you cannot get cheque, because (as mentioned already) you cannot get cash, your cheque has to be paid to your bank account.
The first question has a similar answer (again you are seen as someone who is very keen to engage in criminal activities), and it is further connected to a magical piece of paper called 'proof of address'. To get a bank account, you have to be able to prove that you live somewhere. If you live somewhere, you do not do criminal things, and you do not launder money. (Logic!) However, it must not be just 'somewhere', and the required standard of proof is not balance of probabilities at all.
As a proof, you can bring for example:
- utilities bill (it varies with different banks which kind of utilities bill is accepted),
- one specific HMRC letter (not just any HMRC letter!) which apparently not everyone receives,
- your NIN letter (but this does not work with every bank, some do not accept NIN letters),
- letters about government benefits if you receive any,
- UK driving licence,
- bank statement with your address (must be sent by post on paper, electronically certified statements do not count).
As mentioned previously, we now live in a shared place = we do not pay the utilities. The HMRC letter is sent approx in April, and not everyone receives one anyway. NIN letter is rarely accepted these days. We do not receive anything from the government (and proud of it!). Neither if us has UK driving licence, because obtaining a UK driving licence means sending our passports to the offices by post, which is something we are not ready to do. And the bank statements... well, if you have no bank account, how can you bring a bank statement?
Now, my husband works in a bank. Specifically, he works in credit risk. These credit risk people handle a lot of responsibility, have to be trusted by the bank, and therefore are very thoroughly checked. Before getting his job, my husband had to prove in many ways that he had never been involved in anything illegal (from fraud to bad parking), and that he was clean as a whistle. All these checks etc. took approx. 8 weeks, and had to be conducted in the UK as well as the Czech Republic.
Which of course does not mean that his bank, or any other bank, can set him a bank account. Being employed by a bank means nothing, and in particular it does not mean that you (i) are not money launderer, (ii) live somewhere. The fact that you work in credit risk means less then nothing in terms of your proof of address. You just don't have one, and that's that. Effectively, you are homeless.
We live nowhere, we do not exist, and while my husband works, he hasn't seen a single penny. Which pisses his boss off, but nether the boss nor the boss' bosses can do anything about this.
We have tried to negotiate with the banks. We have tried to point out that my husband works in credit risk and is thus trustworthy. Our landlady has made us a nice letter stating that my husband lives here in our house. We have tried really everything but this is like a real catch-22.
And the worst thing about all this? My husband has promised to buy me new shoes as soon as he gets his first money earned in the UK. Imagine how bad I feel now! I will probably never see my new shoes!
As mentioned previously on this blog, my husband has arrived to the UK at the end of October / beginning of November. Since then, he's got a job (congrats), he's eaten quite few burgers, he's seen some Northern cities, he's been sent to Edinburgh for training more than once, he figured out where and how to buy 'tvaroh', and so on. In every aspect, he is now reasonably well adapted guy.
Except that he has no bank account, and therefore he cannot receive his salary.
There are probably two whys in this one sentence. Why he has no bank account? And why he cannot get paid?
Both the questions have a simple answer: anti-money laundering rules.
The second question is easier to answer. You cannot get your money cash, because you are presumed guilty of money laundering (or financing terrorism, which is even worse), and if you get cash, you are assumed to immediately do bad things with the money. And you cannot get cheque, because (as mentioned already) you cannot get cash, your cheque has to be paid to your bank account.
The first question has a similar answer (again you are seen as someone who is very keen to engage in criminal activities), and it is further connected to a magical piece of paper called 'proof of address'. To get a bank account, you have to be able to prove that you live somewhere. If you live somewhere, you do not do criminal things, and you do not launder money. (Logic!) However, it must not be just 'somewhere', and the required standard of proof is not balance of probabilities at all.
As a proof, you can bring for example:
- utilities bill (it varies with different banks which kind of utilities bill is accepted),
- one specific HMRC letter (not just any HMRC letter!) which apparently not everyone receives,
- your NIN letter (but this does not work with every bank, some do not accept NIN letters),
- letters about government benefits if you receive any,
- UK driving licence,
- bank statement with your address (must be sent by post on paper, electronically certified statements do not count).
As mentioned previously, we now live in a shared place = we do not pay the utilities. The HMRC letter is sent approx in April, and not everyone receives one anyway. NIN letter is rarely accepted these days. We do not receive anything from the government (and proud of it!). Neither if us has UK driving licence, because obtaining a UK driving licence means sending our passports to the offices by post, which is something we are not ready to do. And the bank statements... well, if you have no bank account, how can you bring a bank statement?
Now, my husband works in a bank. Specifically, he works in credit risk. These credit risk people handle a lot of responsibility, have to be trusted by the bank, and therefore are very thoroughly checked. Before getting his job, my husband had to prove in many ways that he had never been involved in anything illegal (from fraud to bad parking), and that he was clean as a whistle. All these checks etc. took approx. 8 weeks, and had to be conducted in the UK as well as the Czech Republic.
Which of course does not mean that his bank, or any other bank, can set him a bank account. Being employed by a bank means nothing, and in particular it does not mean that you (i) are not money launderer, (ii) live somewhere. The fact that you work in credit risk means less then nothing in terms of your proof of address. You just don't have one, and that's that. Effectively, you are homeless.
We live nowhere, we do not exist, and while my husband works, he hasn't seen a single penny. Which pisses his boss off, but nether the boss nor the boss' bosses can do anything about this.
We have tried to negotiate with the banks. We have tried to point out that my husband works in credit risk and is thus trustworthy. Our landlady has made us a nice letter stating that my husband lives here in our house. We have tried really everything but this is like a real catch-22.
And the worst thing about all this? My husband has promised to buy me new shoes as soon as he gets his first money earned in the UK. Imagine how bad I feel now! I will probably never see my new shoes!
Do you know this symbol? To me, it looks like a weird ice cream. :)
I have occasionally encountered this picture before, on various items such as condoms and car windows. Here in the UK, this symbol appears much more frequently, not only on the above mentioned, but also on manhole covers, mobile phones, buses, and fire extinguishers (to name a few). And recently (yesterday), I have figured out what it means.
It means British Standard - so it is something like ISO or ČSN, but it's British and therefore much more important (of course).
There is a Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Standards. Recommended reading before bed!
If you want to know something about cricket balls, just open BS 5993 and there you go. Interested in locomotives for Indian railways? Nothing can be more simple than opening BS 50! But be careful: there is also BS 5 and BS 26, both superseded by BS 50. Noisy neighbours? BS 8233 Guidance on sound insulation and noise reduction in buildings is the answer.
There are standards on plastic colours used in construction as well as industrial electrical connectors, and more. You can spend a whole evening laughing at this and quizzing your spouse or kids for fun.
Long live the weird ice cream!
I have occasionally encountered this picture before, on various items such as condoms and car windows. Here in the UK, this symbol appears much more frequently, not only on the above mentioned, but also on manhole covers, mobile phones, buses, and fire extinguishers (to name a few). And recently (yesterday), I have figured out what it means.
It means British Standard - so it is something like ISO or ČSN, but it's British and therefore much more important (of course).
There is a Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Standards. Recommended reading before bed!
If you want to know something about cricket balls, just open BS 5993 and there you go. Interested in locomotives for Indian railways? Nothing can be more simple than opening BS 50! But be careful: there is also BS 5 and BS 26, both superseded by BS 50. Noisy neighbours? BS 8233 Guidance on sound insulation and noise reduction in buildings is the answer.
There are standards on plastic colours used in construction as well as industrial electrical connectors, and more. You can spend a whole evening laughing at this and quizzing your spouse or kids for fun.
Long live the weird ice cream!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)