As mentioned in the previous post, we have made few trips around Manchester in past few days. To be more precise, we have visited four cities in four days: Liverpool, Sheffield, Chester and Leeds. Here are my impressions.

Liverpool

Beatles. And port. And Beatles. And ships, docks and warehouses. And of course John, Paul, George and Ringo! Of course Beatles are everywhere. You can get Beatles souvenirs in every shop, and there are several museums showing artifacts and things.

We arrived at the (famous?) train station on Lime Street. It takes less then an hour from Manchester. The city appears bigger than Mcr, and there are more of these suburb unified houses. (It's like copypasted city really, and I immediately started wondering. Many people say that the communist housing projects with panel houses etc. are horrible, with no schools, no shops etc., but this English suburb style seems to be exactly the same thing. The panel houses are higher (sometimes as many as 20 floors), and they are not made of bricks, but apart from these 'cosmetic' differences, it seems exactly the same. The houses in the suburbs (and not just Liverpool suburbs! We have this in Mcr as well) are all exactly the same, with nothing between them, just the same streets all over and over again. I don't really see how this is any better.

Anyway, back to Liverpool-specific stuff. We went to see the docks, and that is really nice. There is a promenade along the river. There is the river! And there are ancient docks, with old ships there. And warehouses. And more docks. And some modern ships (some of them go to Isle of Man, and some to Ireland).  The river is wider than any other river I have ever seen (but it's true that I have never seen delta of Danube, or Amazon...). And there are tides, because it's very close to the sea. The river went 5m lower during low tide (afternoon) than during high tide (morning). Which was a surprise for us, because we are from an inland country.

There is also a huge cathedral in Liverpool. From the outside, it looks like some communist building because it's all squares and it's so huge it looks really out of proportion. Exactly as the spectacular communist show-off buildings! (It reminds me of Hotel International in Prague - just compare the pictures! Cathedral v the hotel.) It would be enough to put a red star on the top of the building, and here we go, Moscow architecture...

But to be not that harsh: inside, the cathedral is beautiful. It's really impressive, the space, the stained glass, the side chapels, the organ (which makes sounds so deep that it hurts), and all the details, everything is the finest stuff. You can tell that these people were incredibly rich, and willing to invest the money into the Lord's house.

In Liverpool, the cathedral is not the only huge building. Some of them look like a New York architecture (roughly the same style as Empire State Building but a bit lower). It's just that the whole city is like that: it's spectacular. After all, they say that some 9 million people emigrated through Liverpool to the US in the old days, and the port and docks were there long before that. All the people, merchants, ships etc. must have left so much money there!

The city is rich even these days. There are fancy shops, art galleries, modern office buildings, etc. Money everywhere! And it is indeed very nice to see.

Sheffield

The city of stainless steel (previously), and of the Sheffield Hallam University (today). We went there between Christmas and New Year, and maybe that's why the city looked a bit boring... because it was almost empty!

There are two cathedrals in Sheffield, one of them (the smaller one) is catholic, the other one (the bigger one) is Anglican. There are some quite interesting steel statues in the Anglican cathedral, and the inner space is very nice.

There is also very good industry museum, where you can have a look on River Don Engine (which is huge!) and on other engineering stuff. They show you how the steel is made, and what the history of the steel industry was. There is also awesome kid's exhibition where you can go through the steel process yourself (pretending that you are molten steel, and get pressed, stamped etc.). If you ever go to Sheffield, don't forget to visit Kelham Island and the museum. (Bonus: there is a museum café where you can have quite impressive sandwiches!)

Chester

Incredibly photogenic, painfully cute, kitsch city. Everyone has to go to Chester and see it, because Chester is beautiful.

It doesn't seem to be at the first sight. The train station is a bit 'boring', just an ordinary station which is not bad, but it't not the most beautiful train station in the world, and you have to walk ca 1 km to the city centre. However, once you arrive there, you have to be impressed!

There was a Roman fortress of Deva in the old ages, and the old Roman fortification is still there. And you can climb up the wall and walk it! It's ca 3 km long, and it's a very nice walk around the city, with some medieval things, and a view of the castle. (That is funny, because 'Chester' means castle, so Chester Castle is literally Castle Castle. Lol!) The fortification goes past the river Dee, and a canal, which is itself quite romantic.

In the city centre, there are many cute white and black houses, some of them 4 floors high. In the city centre, there are many shops, and in the houses, there's also a shopping gallery which you can enter via stairs and walk as well, It's incredibly, disgustingly beautiful!

In the Roman times, Chester / Deva used to be a big sea port, and later it was a market town, and obviously a busy and important one. Which means that everything is sophisticated, decorated, and with a lot of attention to details.

Apart from shopping and building-gazing, there is again a cathedral (with fine stained glass windows (I especially liked the modern ones, e.g. this one), and a cloister, and an old church court equipment). And if you ever come to Chester, visit the Burger Shed 41, Marvellous burgers, and superb doughnuts and ice cream as a dessert. You have to wait to be seated, but it is well worth the struggle!

Chester is not at all far from Wales. Meaning that the buses sometimes end in Wales, and there are Welsh names of places written on these buses. It looks very funny; if you have never seen or heard Welsh, try the BBC Cymru. For example, this and this should be the same article in Welsh and in English, respectively.)

Leeds

Leeds is supposed to be the shopping centre of England (maybe the whole Great Britain), but we were less then impressed.

There is a cathedral which is closed, and some churches which are also closed. There is a canal which is mostly inaccessible because it's all private property. There are many shops, but right now they only sell stuff that they could not sell during Christmas (and we could not come across anything decent in our size). And there is a beautiful market place, which is very art nouveau, but which is full of cheap clothes and cheap home equipment.

The only positive thing is that there are two comics shops.

Summary

We will visit Liverpool and Chester again, and whenever someone visits us, we will take them there. and show them all the stuff.
We will probably visit Sheffield or Leeds only if there is something really interesting - exhibition, theatre, concert. And I guess that we will leave shortly after the event ends.

Edit: stinking, lousy Google has crashed in the middle of updating the blog, and the previous post (the one referred to in the current post) just disappeared. It contained few funny little stories about train travelling in the UK, and some interesting things about buying knives (and having to show your ID to buy them) and everyday things like that. Well, it's gone. I am not going to write it again. :( Hi ho.

Long time no post! Sorry for that, many things have happened in past few weeks.

Of course most of these things have been associated with Christmas. I will try to provide some details of English Christmas celebrations below.

1/ The Secret Santa
Very funny thing; maybe you know it and/or do it yourself. We did this in my company with some colleagues. It works like this.
You persuade bunch of people to participate. (I thought this to be difficult, but obviously this is quite popular here and may people like it and participate. In fact, I thought that this was some 'kid's stuff', something that only young people participate in. Then I was heard people from another company talking about who's secret Santa of whom and whether they have this sorted already or not, and they were talking about this stuff in the lift. Which in my opinion means that it's widespread.)
You put their names in a hat; people pick one name from the hat (if they pick their name, they have to give it back and repeat).
Everyone has someone's name, and has to buy a present for that person. (There's usually a cap on spending, to avoid people getting too cheap or too expensive presents.)
Not surprisingly, it was all fun. It showed that some people know some people quite well! Anyway, they know me well, because I got a gift that suits me.

2/ The Christmas parties
Endless. At least three of them in our company (which probably means that there are also at least three of them in any other group, club, sports establishment, etc. etc.).
Our company has a certain very stupid tradition which has to be observed by newcomers. (It's like an initiation.) I did not like it at all; I don't really understand why people are being punished and humiliated for joining the company. But as English people say: hi ho.

3/ Pubs full of people
This is closely connected to the previous point. Everyone is celebrating Christmas with endless parties, and therefore the pubs are exceptionally full, day and night. It all starts in early December, and continues to the Christmas day.

4/ Christmas crackers, crowns, and stuff
This is Christmas partyware. A cracker looks like a giant candy. Everyone gets one cracker. Two people sitting next to each other pull the opposite parts of the cracker. The cracker breaks under the pressure, but asymmetrically, and one of the people gets approx. 2/3 of a cracker - with some hidden little present, while the other person gets nothing. There's also usually a paper crown in each cracker, and these are distributed evenly between the people, so everyone gets one crown.
There are usually also other things on the table, such as balloons (better: elongated, sausage-like balloons, so that people can beat each other with it) and miniature confetti shooters (pull a string, and it 'explodes' and sprays papers on people).
In few words: it's a mess.

5/ Trees (and no carps)
Like in the Czech Republic, Christmas trees are sold on many places, usually directly in the streets. Obviously (as advertised), the prices start at £39. we did not buy a Christmas tree - as usually, we've bought a bottle of whisky instead. :)
There's one thing that is not there in the streets: huge blue tubs with carps. In the Czech Republic, the very traditional Christmas Eve meal is carp and potato salad, and people like to buy the fish absolutely fresh. This means that there are carp-containing tubs in the streets, where sellers have their stalls. You can buy the poor animal alive and kill it yourself, or you can have it killed by the fishermen who sell it. (I prefer the second option, and, frankly, I think that the first option should be banned. People usually don't know how to kill the fish quickly, and in the end it's like animal torture really.)
Well, no surprise that in this turkey eating country, people do not buy fish like this.

6/ Santa's grotto in Arndale shopping centre
Oh yes, there was an enclosed space which looked like something between an odd-coloured Christmas tree and a rock: Santa's grotto. We haven't been inside, but there's allegedly Santa Claus inside, and if you have kids, you can pay approx. £5 to £10 per kid to visit the grotto.
There were also elves, guarding the entrance. I wonder whether it was a coincidence that the elves were young girls with revealing clothes, and the kids were usually accompanied by dads...
(Just for the record: in the Czech Republic, it is not Santa Claus who delivers the Christmas presents. Therefore, I have never done this as a kid.)

7/ Christmas markets
Installed up to 21 Dec, with huge sales on the last weekend. Full of people up to the last moment.
Interestingly, there was a huge hanukkah 'candleholder' just near the Christmas market.

8/ Total shutdown
This country went through an absolute, total shutdown just before Christmas. In the week starting 21 Dec, there were very little cars on the streets, and not many people in the streets. The buses were half empty. Many shops were closed, or were only open for few hours a day. On 24 Dec, which is supposed to be a normal working day here, I went to work, but apparently I was one of the few. Then we were kicked out of the office at 3 pm, which was a nice surprise for everyone but me - I had stuff to do, and wanted to stay until 4 pm!

8/ Christmas Day
...is 25 December. That's funny, because in the Czech Republic, the most important day is 24 Dec (it is a holiday, and presents are unpacked on 24 Dec in the evening). Therefore I am usually confused when people start talking about Christmas Day!
Anyway, absolutely nothing works on 25 Dec. No shops are open, not even the huge ones which are normally open 24/7. There are no buses, and no trams, and no transport at all.

9/ Ho ho ho!
Santa's signature laughter. Can be seen or heard everywhere, written on the shop windows, buses and city halls, and said by barmen, shop assistants, bus drivers, colleagues at work, and everyone. The first thing we have heard on 25 Dec morning was our neighbor next door saying 'Ho ho ho' loudly. The automatic cash desks in Tesco say 'Ho ho ho merry Christmas' even now. O_o

10/ Bah humbug!
If you are disgusted or tired of all the Christmas stuff around, or if you just want to be less mainstream, you can say this instead of 'Ho ho ho' (see above). Many people do. Many shop windows etc. do as well.

11/ Christmas jumpers
Everyone wears funny jumpers with snowmen, reindeer, Santa Claus, elves, elf clothing, Christmas trees, or (the most conservative people) Norwegian designs. This year, some people had Minions dressed as Santa on their jumpers. Sometimes, there are things attached to the jumper: for example, fluffy spherical objects which are supposed to resemble snowballs, or orange pointy things that should simulate snowman's nose, things like that. I have seen a guy who had a transparent pocket for a smartphone in his jumper, and the smartphone showed a fireplace with fire.
If you want to be less mainstream, you can wear 'bah humbug' jumper instead.

11a/ Christmas jumper day
We have had this in our office. Everyone is supposed to wear their ugliest finest Christmas jumper, and donate to Charity. I don't have any suitable Christmas jumper, but my husband has a Swiss jumper (which I gave his as a present when I returned from a skiing trip), and this jumper has some deer and things on it, so it qualifies as Christmas jumper, and I could wear that.
People obviously take this seriously, because when my boss arrived to the office, and found that there was a Christmas jumper day, he went to quickly buy one to the nearest shop.
You are not supposed to wear Christmas jumpers after 6 January.

12/ Ugly Santa near the city hall
There's an incredibly ugly Santa Claus on the main square. I hope it will disappear soon. If we are lucky, it will get damaged, burnt and destroyed during New Year's celebrations.

13/ Christmas cards
Everyone sends or gives Christmas card to everyone else. You send cards to friends, parents, colleagues, doctors, lawyers, customers, suppliers, subcontractors, business partners, neighbours, your dog, and the guy you've met yesterday in Aldi.
The cards are usually quite ugly, with some Christmas kitsch Christmas pictures and things. Sometimes there are (stupid) things written in the cards, and sometimes there is an empty space so you can write your own wishes there.
I myself only gave one real, paper Christmas card, to one of our secretaries who helps me a lot (and I wanted to thank her for all that). I have personally received zero paper cards, and a few e-cards. We (me and my husband together) got two cards from friends in the Czech Republic. Our landlady got approx. zillion cards, in coloured envelopes of funny shapes.
It seems that this card business is a-booming here, they have cards for, like, every occasion. Not only Christmas, but also birthday, weddings, childbirths, new jobs, retirements, moving your house, your kid's first teeth, everything.

All right, that's that. I am kinda glad that it's all over now... but I also hope that next year, I will be able to participate in all this like a real English person! :)

Few more funny English words:

• craic - fun in a pub (comes from Irish gaelic, and the pronunciation is roughly similar to 'crack' - I was a bit confused when people started talking about 'crack' they had in a pub!)
• banter - same meaning as craic. Interesting fact: a person can be a good craic, but you cannot be a good banter. Being good craic means that the person is a good pub companion.
• hi ho - that's how it is and nothing can be done about it.
• sausage dog - dachshund (for my Czech speaking friends: 'jezevčík').

And one very interesting thing: the English people do have a special marker just for bingo! Really, seriously, a special marker for bingo, not suitable for anything else. I am not kidding. Try to google 'bingo marker' or something like that, and you will see yourself.

It has wide, flat tip, which is designed to make big dots. Which is very useful, because the numbers come quickly one after another, and they are scattered all over the page, so you need to be quick in marking them.

(Yes - indeed. I have played bingo. I think I've quite boosted my Englishness!)

I have learned few more interesting words/wordings:

• iffy: suspicious
• path of least resistance: the easiest option (we use this in Czech as well, nice to know that English people say the same thing)
• it doesn't smell very good: it's probably some dirty business (again, we use this in Czech as well)
• tissue of lies: lot of lies

Apart from this, I would like to make one observation. The Mancunian dialect is not very understandable, no doubt about that. However, I have no idea how does it sound! The other day, I was discussing with one of my colleagues. I mentioned that I don't understand one particular person very well; he replied, yes, that person has a particularly thick Mancunian dialect. Then I mentioned another person I don't understand. He commented in the same way. The point is, these two people speak so differently that I would never guess they come from the same city! What is this Mancunian dialect, then?

My writing has been suspended over past few days, because my mum was visiting.
(English people reacted like English people: when I'd told them that I needed two days off, they asked 'is it good thing or bad thing?')

Anyway, we've spent wonderful four days wandering around the city, visiting the canal, shopping, drinking hot wine on Christmas markets, and so on.

My mum also wanted to go for a trip by tram (anywhere... she did not care much), and so we went to MediaCityUK. This is part of Salford where the Manchester docks used to be, and all the cotton and merchandise used to go through there. Well, long time ago! Now it's a place of fancy flats, posh quays, and huge BBC studios. And the University of Salford!

There is also Imperial War Museum, which currently hosts exhibition about Blitz. The exhibition is based on Horrible Histories books, and is actually very good! Definitely worth seeing, and not just because it is for free. :-)

I liked that place. It looks very unique, a bit like something in Holland (because of the canals). Fancy. I would like to live there, but I am not rich enough.

I was not impressed by the trams, though. The whole system is called Metrolink (what a fancy name!), and it's probably supposed to operate like a rapid transit system, but - you wish! In reality, it is rapid between Deansgate-Castlefield and maybe the next stop. The rest of the time, it just turns in ridiculous curves, goes on single track, or does other stupid things. Plus, MediaCityUK is a 'final stop' (in a sense that if a tram comes, it only can leave in the direction from which it arrived), so the tram driver has to take his stuff and go to the other side of the tram to continue the journey to Eccles.

I have just now found the interesting and funny information that the Metrolink trams are operated by a subsidiary of RATP. I think this explains a lot.

Apart from this, we have also visited lot of pubs and restaurants. We are still searching for The Perfect Beer (search continues), but I think that we are pretty close to The Perfect Burger. It may be had in Byron Burgers, on Piccadilly Gardens, or on John Dalton Street. Yummy!

On the other hand, I think that we are also pretty close to the worst restaurant in Manchester. Avoid Slug and Lettuce at all costs! My husband had fish and chips there, and he was nearly poisoned by that stuff! The fish was not fresh, that's that. Plus, the staff is weird, and the beer is not worth. Never again, ever.

Yesterday, I have decided to become a more positive person! And to learn a bit more of English grammar.

I have a reason for that. English people keep correcting my stuff, and whatever I write, they don't like. And while I keep telling them that they cannot change me into a native speaker, because this has been decided quite some time ago, I can certainly improve my writings skill. So I will at least try, because them re-drafting everything just makes me mad.

(I have already started to work on my use of articles (a, the). I have discovered a simple rule: just put them anywhere you can, even if it feels that they should not be there. Just do it, don't question. English people are usually happy with the outcome.)

Apart from English language problems, we have still a problem with beer. Mostly, English people drink either ale (which I find awful, because it is sour), or IPA (which is in my opinion not much better). And to add to the horrible taste, ales and IPAs are served warm. Duuuh! As an alternative, each pub usually sells at least one lager - which is usually either local stuff (= nearly tasteless stuff which is served far too cold), or Heineken (weak, tasteless, and again served a bit too cold).

Therefore, we had to try almost immediately when we've found a pub with draft Kozel. I was a bit worried that this would be Kozel, English style (= could be better, to put it in English way). Yesterday, we gave it a go. It was not bad. I've had better, but considering local habits of drinking beer warm & gasless, it was excellent.

It rains all the time now, and the city is awfully full of people, because Christmas is approaching. Therefore the Christmas markets are kinda nightmare now. Luckily, English people are in general good people, so no one is trying to steal your wallet. (In Prague, your stuff would be stolen in ca 5 pikoseconds, especially in such a gathering of people.)

Speaking of  Christmas, there is one very funny thing we have also discovered yesterday. Christmas service of the public transport!

In Prague, the public transport during the Christmas festive season is usually very funny, trams and buses go maybe every 30 min - but at least there are some trams and buses! Yesterday, my husband picked a TFGM leaflet, which informed us about the Christmas services. It will be more or less like this:
- 24 December: buses run until 6 pm, then no service;
- 25 December: no buses (!!!!!);
- 26 to 30 December: holiday/Sunday schedules, with some services cancelled, some replaced by some other services, etc.;
- 31 December: no buses between 6 pm and 11 pm, then there will be (hopefully) something.

Trams have a very similar schedule, with no trams on 25 December. (Really. No trams. Just like that.)

Well, this is a joke, isn't it?

English people are funny!

There was a party last Friday, because one of my new colleagues was already becoming former colleague - he left the company, and wanted to celebrate this. (Btw, another word to my collection of new English words I did not know before: do. It means also party.) Anyway, we went for few drinks etc., you probably have a decent idea of how this works. During this party, I engaged in a terrible argument, in which I've discovered the following:
- parts of Greater Manchester where there is no tram connection to the city centre suck, and are considered inferior;
- people from Liverpool tend to steal things and stab other people;
- I myself am funny person because there is no tram going to the place I live;
- you are allowed to criticize things, and you are allowed to say things as above (...that Liverpool people are thieves, or that people like me are inferior because of no tram) - as long as you do not mean them.

To explain the bad things mentioned above - you can generally say nasty things light-heartedly, but you must not say nasty things if they are actually true. If you want to really criticize something (...you are really unhappy with that thing), you must not say it like this, you must 'wrap' it, present it in a softened, much nicer way. Example: my colleagues could not care less where I live. Therefore they can say that I live in dirty suburb. However, if I don't like some stuff that some people do in the office, I must not say 'you are doing lousy job, and the work product sucks'. I must say something like 'have you considered doing it little bit differently', 'I did not quite understand what you meant here', or something like that. O_o

(To be fair, I have seen funny things on the bus which seem to confirm the 'lousy suburbs' theory. For example, there was a lady who cleaned her teeth... with her jumper! She just grabbed the sleeve of her jumper, and cleaned her teeth. Duuuuh! And other disgusting stuff I do not really want to describe here.)

Apart from this, more funny things happen to me every day.
I am constantly offered milk in the kitchen of our office. Every time I am in the kitchen, making tea (green tea...), and there is someone else, the person is (i) pouring milk in his/her drink, and (ii) offering me milk before putting it back to the fridge. I think that one day I will give up, make a cup of black tea - and then use the milk. But I think that when it comes, I will ask some English people for explanations, and I will make them tell me how to do this properly. It will be fun!

The other day, we had a visit from Asia in our office. The guy came with some little Asian cakes and cookies. Well, I expected them to be more exotic, but nevermind; the funny part was that some of these cookies tasted like pineapple. English people told me that pineapples were pretty exotic. I told them that now it's 21st century, and pineapples are, like, everywhere, maybe even grown in Europe in some greenhouses or whatever. Well, they replied, pineapples were considered exotic in 18th century, and still are, and that's that. Like, seriously? O_o In case you haven't noticed, it's 2015 already!!

The English people also keep correcting everything I write. I mean, I write quite a lot in my job, and these English guys are very obsessive about many things - meaning that they usually say 'I have made few minor stylistic changes', and this means that all my sentences magically disappear and are replaced by their words and sentences. Which makes me kinda depressed, because I've never had problems like this (in particular, no one has ever told me that what I write had been unclear). I am also not that convinced that I would ever write like a native speaker (simply because I am not one, and I cannot change this).

But just to finish this - English people are not the only funny people around. My husband is also very funny sometimes. In particular, I don't quite understand why he struggles so much with local coins. English coins are: 1p (small copper circular coin), 2p (big copper circular coin), 5p (small silver circular coin), 10p (big silver circular coin), 20p (small silver heptagonal coin), 50p (big silver heptagonal coin), £1 (small and thick yellow coin, quite distinct), £2 (big bi-coloured yellow and silver coin, again quite distinct).
It's not that difficult, is it... but for unknown reason, my husband is absolutely unable to remember the coins, and every times we have to pay anything in any shop, it takes ages, because he has to check every coin value, and decide whether it is suitable for the purpose or not.
(My husband now insists that I add the following information: (i) the coins do not have the value written on them in one easy, big number, they rather have just text (quite small to be fair) that informs you that this one is 'one penny', 'fifty pence' etc.; (ii) it's not that the bigger the coin, the higher the value, and the sizes vary: 5p (the smallest) -> 1p -> 20p -> £1 -> 10p -> 2p -> 50p -> £2 (the biggest).)
And the funniest part is that every time I lose my temper and just pick the right coins from his hand straight away, he accuses me of being English person!